Coming from the world of consulting, managing my client's expectations is part of my role. The saying, "Under promise, over deliver.", has stood the test of time. The meaning is simple: Don't set expectations too high, because failing to meet them can be catastrophic for your relationship with clients. They'll be disappointed, lose trust in your abilities, and it's just unprofessional.

In the software world it's often hard to predict what you'll encounter when developing a feature. The bigger the feature, the harder to predict how long it will actually take. We break it into smaller and smaller chunks, not only to distribute the work but to make it more focused and predictable. It also helps us set and adjust customer's expectations as we go.

It's often easier to set someone else's expectations than our own.

Running: A Lesson in Expectation Management

Running has had such a profound affect on my personal and professional life. Like software development, it's sometimes hard to estimate how any given run could go. It's easy to get caught up in the training plan, get amped for an upcoming race, and set your expectations unreasonably high. Doing so, can send you into a negative spiral and eventually to quitting. Setting expectations appropriately however can help you strive forward, grow and learn from your mistakes without too much disappointment.

The Starting Line: Understanding Expectations vs. Standards

Let's define them:

Expectation - "A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future"

Standard - "A level of quality or attainment"

Expectations are forward looking. The longer you run consistently, the more you can look forward to the day where running comes easier.

Standards are the quality and rules you hold for yourself. These are like your values. They exist in the present.

The key to managing your expectations is understanding the difference between your standards - "how" you approach your task; your expectations - "what" you see when you're done. The key is focus on the "how" and not so much on the "what".

My Tips for Managing Internal Expectations

Throughout your training plan a lot can happen. There are periods of excitement and boredom. Periods of high performance and stagnation, strength and injury. The only way to keep going is to manage your expectations through the ebb and flow. That's how you persist and its called resilience.

Expect something to go wrong & Adjust to your reality

First and foremost remember Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong".

Between now and race day a lot can happen. You can get sick, the race could get canceled, your car could breakdown etc. Whatever happens, accept it and decide what you're going to do about it.

What if you get injured? About a month ago, I started feeling some pain in my knee. It started as an uncomfortable dull pain, and didn't bother me too much at first. After two weeks of continued training, and unrelenting pain I had to check-in with myself. The strength in my knee started to wain. Walking up and down stairs wasn't comfortable. My left knee felt weaker than my right. With an upcoming race and one I planned on running strong, this was the last thing I wanted. I need to do something about my knee so I decided to:

1) Get my knee checked out and make sure it wasn't serious.

2) Reset my upcoming race expectations.

The race I was aiming to win was 5 weeks away. I already reduced my mileage for a week to rest with no change in condition. My expectations of a podium finish, let alone running the race were done. It was disappointing at first, but in the grand scheme of things it was only one race. My new goal was to get my knee back to 100% and my expectation is that'll it'll get there. It'll just take work and patience.

Base your expectations on Data

The best way to set expectations is to examine your past performance and use that as a gauge of what you're able to deliver. If there is no past performance than create it. Start running, and start small so you understand where you're at.

This knee issue felt like it came out of nowhere. The feedback (ie data) I was getting from my body was that something was wrong. I started executing my action plan. I got my knee checked out, and thankfully it wasn't serious, just some imbalances exacerbated by the increased mileage. With that knowledge I'm able to move forward with strengthening and healing my knee. Running pain free is in my future but not sure when. My plan is to take it one run, one workout, one day at a time and assess the feedback I'm getting before stepping up the mileage again.

Trust the Process - Focus on the Present

Whether you're training for a specific event or just running for exercise, expecting to have a great run before starting is putting the cart before the horse. As Garth says "Live in the now"

Not every run is going to be amazing. You may not feel like running but do it anyway to the best of your ability. Before you know it, you'll be cruising but beware expecting a great run every single time out is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Some days will be good, Some will be bad but overall the trend will be positive. Just take it one day at a time - one run at a time - one step at a time. The only thing you can do is lace up your shoes and get out there, forget everything else.

My best runs are those in which I'm just happy to get outside. No expectations, No responsibilities, everything else fades away and I'm running free. Other days, it feels like my feet are cinder blocks and it's a struggle to put one foot in front of the other. On the cinder block days, I get through it with the best effort I can manage, and put it behind me. I'm not defined by my last run, and neither are you. These high's and low's are part of the process.

The Bottom Line

It might sound counterintuitive, but setting high expectations isn't always a good thing. Expecting to run a PR day-in and day-out is unrealistic. Continuously setting such high expectations and failing to meet them leads to burn out, and eventually quitting. However, accepting your reality, adjusting to it and trusting the process will keep you going in the long run. It'll get you to your goal whatever that is.

Remember, managing expectations isn't about lowering your standards. It's about focusing on the process, adjusting to reality, and keeping yourself moving forward, one step at a time.